How strange that art so often depicts life; and how blessed we are that others experience things in ways that can be universally expressed via mediums such as art, music, poetry....I am falling apart. I have no one to blame but myself. The motivation to meet my dreams is lacking because I am filled with self loathing.
Often I wonder what I have been given that sets me apart to succeed in life and I can't find THE ONE THING that would redeem me. I think this process of review is bringing me to a low point. Right now I have so much self loathing. I am sabotaging myself. I need to find out why I am doing this and revert the process so that I may have the life I desire.
I am angry that I have not behaved in a manner conducive to my goals and at a loss as to find an explaniation. If only....
If only I understood the inner realms of psyche and heart right now I could resolve everything.
I think this realm of my inner education is supposed to be rough, even difficult; and, I am trying to be in the moment and appreciative of the process, but it is hard because I feel encompassed by darkness and oppression. I am a slave to my own self doubt.
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