About Me...AnnieC

I am a liberal, original thinker. I am goal oriented. Blogging, for me is intended to be a way to document my trials, triumphs, and other special facets of my journey so that I will have a record of what I've learned. However, this blog does not focus on all facets of me, but rather the more dark aspects.

I am 4'11" and look up to everyone, literally and figuratively.

I am a happy person who loves her complex, interesting, simple little life.

I am a seeker of knowledge, wisdom, and light. People interest and fascinate me, but I don't always know the right ways to interact or communicate as I am an introvert. I take my life seriously so most people see the serious side, but when I get stir crazy I am giddy and silly. I have a dry sense of humor that takes most people years to understand.

I am super sensitive, emotional, often kind and trying so hard to do my bit to make the world a better place.

I love to read, make cards, design collage art, write, and research. I am an excellent public speaker...but alas, still looking for the talent that will help me "make my mark" in this world.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Every Now and then I fall apart...turn around, bright eyes...

How strange that art so often depicts life; and how blessed we are that others experience things in ways that can be universally expressed via mediums such as art, music, poetry....I am falling apart. I have no one to blame but myself. The motivation to meet my dreams is lacking because I am filled with self loathing.

Often I wonder what I have been given that sets me apart to succeed in life and I can't find THE ONE THING that would redeem me. I think this process of review is bringing me to a low point. Right now I have so much self loathing. I am sabotaging myself. I need to find out why I am doing this and revert the process so that I may have the life I desire.

I am angry that I have not behaved in a manner conducive to my goals and at a loss as to find an explaniation. If only....

If only I understood the inner realms of psyche and heart right now I could resolve everything.

I think this realm of my inner education is supposed to be rough, even difficult; and, I am trying to be in the moment and appreciative of the process, but it is hard because I feel encompassed by darkness and oppression. I am a slave to my own self doubt.
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